Therapeutic Issues in Couples Therapy with Emotional/Verbal (Psychological) AbuseMoshe Rozdzial, PhD, LPC*
Intimate partner (domestic) abuse is a pattern of intentional physical, emotional, verbal (psychological), and sexual mistreatment to gain and maintain differential power and control within an intimate relationship. Verbal and emotional abuse in relationship are part of a range of coercive behaviors and tactics that include domestic violence, but, without direct physical harm, are often dismissed, as there are no legal ramifications, yet, have deep psychological harms to the victim, including depression, isolation, fear, and guilt, and vulnerability to various health issues.
Working with Gay and Lesbian Couples with Emotional/Verbal (Psychological) AbuseMoshe Rozdzial, PhD, LPC*
Intimate partner abuse exempts no race, ethnicity, socio-economic status, sexual orientation or social status. On a daily basis, issues of dominance, power, and control in relationships are rooted in the oppressive systems to which we are all conditioned. Heterosexual hegemony normalizes the types of abusive behaviors that are both physically and mentally harmful, with the identified victim typically being the female and the perpetrator being male. Less universally recognized is the occurrence of domestic abuse among same-sex partners.
Regardless of habitation status, research indicates...
In our macho world, boys learn to control their feelings, to never cry, and that anger and violence is a problem-solving method. As a result, boys and men pay a huge toll for maintaining an image of manhood that keeps them isolated from women, children and other men.
-Stop the cycle of aggression and depression.
-Understand the root causes of your anger.
-Reclaim and promote emotional literacy.
-Choose and define for yourself what it means to be a man.
-Enhance the quality of communication and intimacy in your relationships.
STOP the anger:
The one emotion that is supported, as part of manhood, is...
Do you feel angry a lot of the time?Are you worried that your anger is out-of-control?Is your anger hurting your personal relationships and work?Do you think you have to get angry to get what you want?Does your anger cycle continue after the triggering event has passed?Are you using alcohol or other drugs to try to manage your anger?Are you are getting angry with your loved-ones, rather than dealing with the situation that sparked off your anger in the first place?
Anger management is not just about learning relaxation tools or behavioral modification. Anger is a symptom, not the root cause of your distress.