Sex over Sixty: Understanding the Impact of Ageism on Mature Sexuality
By Moshe Rozdzial, PhD
What is sexuality and how is it socially constructed?
All people are sexual in one way or another. Sex and sexuality are basic components of Human Nature and connection, either with self or others. Regardless of gender, every person has a sexuality that is uniquely their own; a behavioral and relational repertoire composed of beliefs, social constructs and myths, religious indoctrination, social and familial conditioning, and a history of positive and negative experiences.
Sexual health is an integral component to overall human wellness, and healthy sexual relations are a valued human activity. Sexuality and sexual behavior occur and evolve throughout the human lifespan, and are not limited to genitals or genital-oriented activities.
Sexuality involves biological, psychological, sociological and spiritual variables of life. It affects personality development and interpersonal relations, including self-perception, self-esteem, personal history, personality, concept of love and intimacy, body image etc., and is a significant expression of affectional and sexual orientation.
The impact of Ageism on human sexual development
The systemic stereotyping, prejudice, and discrimination against individuals or groups on the basis of their age is called “Ageism”. Ageism is manifested in institutional and casual practices, laws, and policies. Ageism perpetuates the disempowerment of older persons/groups, and leads to invisibility, marginalization and social exclusion, and has a direct impact on the external and internal perception of and about sex and sexuality of older adults.
What are some Ageist beliefs and assumptions about sex and older persons?
- Older people are no longer interested in sex and sexuality, and no longer engage in sexual activity: Sex is for the young.
- Changes in hormone levels, which occur during and after the menopause/andropause, create a ‘deficiency disease’ that causes women/men to avoid sex.
- As they age, older women and men lose their desire and their sense of desirability.
- In order to have a full and complete sex life, a woman/man must have a sexual partner.
- Older adults are not at risk of contracting STIs.
How is sexuality of older adults impacted by Ageism in media?
Our cultural beliefs about mature adult sex and sexuality is highly influenced and informed by media portrayals of the lives of older persons and the omission of aging adult sexuality. Research on how the sexuality of older persons is depicted in mainstream film, including the casting older adult characters in leading roles, has shown, to an overwhelming degree, that older persons were depicted as having no sexual life at all, and the need for mature sex was replaced with a need for tenderness and warmth*. These findings support the common assumption, even among older persons, that older adults do not have a sexual life.
What may be some of the consequences of Ageism on older adult sexuality?
The consequences of the cultural assumption that sex is limited to the young and fit, has led to an environment that makes invisible older adult sex and sexuality, and therefore, fails to address the sexual needs of older adults in various institutional contexts, including health care, assisted living, and in family life and life decision-making. At the same time, Ageism installs internal assumptions in the aging population, known as “ internalized ageism”, which refers to the extent in which older adults take on or believe the social norms that devalue or marginalize themselves and their sexual needs.
Confronting the impact of Ageism on older adult sex and sexuality.
As a sex therapist, I confront the impact of Ageism on the lives of real people. This requires a critical analysis of internalized attitudes towards sexuality and ageing, comparing and contrasting stereotypes and myths about aging sex and sexuality with reality, presenting a variety of appropriate sexual options to the various strengths and limitations of mature sex, supporting the sexual empowerment and sexual rights of older people, and proposing strategies to support sexuality at all stages of human development that are informed by an understanding of the constructs of gender and sexual orientation.
*Bildtgard, T. (1998). Journal of Aging & Identity, 5(3), 169-183.
Moshe Rozdzial,LPC, is a Psychotherapist and Certified Sex Therapist in private practice in Denver, Colorado, at Glow Counseling, www.glowcounseling.com.
