Strengthen Your Relationship

Sex Therapy

Regardless of sexual orientation, people may also live a variety of sexual lifestyles. These include lifelong monogamy, serial monogamy, polyamory, polyfidelity, open relationships, fetishes, kink, BDSM, swinging, group sex, asexuality, or celibacy. For those with more than one sexual partner, these may or may not all be partners of the opposite or same gender. Sex therapy is a specialized form of psychotherapy or counseling using clinical skills to assess and treat non-medical factors that contribute to sexual problems. Sex therapists assess trauma, performance anxiety, intimacy and sexual dysfunction, and sexual attitudes that may interfere with healthy sexuality. With couples, a trained sex therapist will also evaluate potential relationship dynamics associated with sexual problems.

 Treatment may involve information on sexual skills or techniques, understanding emotional factors, and resolving psychological conflicts. Sex therapists may also help individuals and couples who have problems understanding their sexuality or struggling with their sexual identity. Some of the issues couples or individuals seek support through sex therapy include erectile dysfunction, difficulty reaching orgasm, low desire or libido differences, premature ejaculation, pornography addiction, sexual compulsive behaviors, or the impact of past sexual abuse. “Sex Therapy is a professional and ethical (non-touch) treatment approach to problems of sexual function and expression. It reflects the recognition that sexuality is of legitimate concern… that it is the right of individuals to expert assistance with their sexual difficulties. Sex therapy, then, is the focusing of specialized clinical skills on helping men and women as individuals and/or as couples to deal more effectively with their sexual expression.” (from “Your introduction to Sex Therapy” by Dr. Robert W. Birch).

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Sex & Aging

Contrary to stereotypes, aging does not eliminate a person’s sexuality. Mid-life and elderly Americans care deeply about their sexual experiences and relationships. Not uncommonly, as a result of the aging process, men past midlife experience a reduction in sexual desire as a result of decreased levels of testosterone and sexual disorders such as erectile dysfunction and prostate problems. Men with erectile difficulties often react with feelings of failure, anxiety, depression, and loss of self-esteem. These feelings may be compounded by their partner’s disappointment or anger.

 In older women, while the hormonal and physiological changes associated with menopause are factors, the predominant correlation with decreased libido, arousal, orgasm, and sexual enjoyment is relationship difficulties. Most female sexual problems are associated with anxiety, depression, and the loss of a partner. Sex therapy is useful in helping individuals and couples adjust to the various physical changes and the effects of medical treatments that come with aging.

Delayed Ejaculation Treatment

Delayed ejaculation or “lasting too long”, is the difficulty or inability to achieve climax or ejaculation during sexual intercourse, despite normal sexual desire, arousal, and stimulation.

 A number of factors, singly or in combination, may contribute to delayed ejaculation. These include physiological factors that affect the ability of the penis to experience sensation, including trauma, stroke, or damage to the penis or nerves leading to the penis, or as a result of chronic disease such as diabetes, high blood pressure, or alcohol or substance abuse.

 Delayed ejaculation may, on the surface, appear to be a positive trait, yet, it can lead to sexual avoidance if it results in pain, resentment and recrimination. This may reinforce emotional and psychological distress in the form of performance anxiety, fear, and reduced intimacy.

 There is help for delayed ejaculation. The best ways to address the cause and treatment of delayed ejaculation is to talk to a Sex Therapist who can provide understanding and treatment options. Call GLOW Counseling today for support of delayed ejaculation issues.

Erectile Dysfunction

Erectile dysfunction, or impotence, is the inability of a man to develop or maintain an erection sufficient for his sexual satisfaction or that of his partner. The most to aging and include cardiovascular disease, diabetes, low serum testosterone, or side affects of medication such as anti-depressants.  Most men experience erectile dysfunction at some point in their lives, due to situational stressors or fatigue, and will be psychologically unaffected by it. However, due to expectations about male sexual function, especially if self-worth and self-image of masculinity are deeply connected to sexual performance, some men may react to an episode of impotence by becoming more anxious, which results in further sexual problems and increased “performance anxiety“.

Depression, stress, and anxiety disorders are the most common causes of psychological erectile dysfunction. Other psychological causes may include a history of sexual abuse or emotional trauma, guilt and shame, grief, or relationship problems. A sex therapist will evaluate and treat the psychological aspects of erectile dysfunction by assessing patterns of negative thoughts and behaviors and evaluating potential relationship problems associated with erection problems. Sex therapy also provides resources on sexual skills or techniques, reducing performance anxiety, support for relationship problems, and evaluating unrealistic sexual attitudes. There is help for erectile dysfunction. The best ways to address the cause and treatment of erectile dysfunction is to talk to a Sex Therapist who can provide understanding and treatment options. Call GLOW Counseling today for support of erectile dysfunction issues.

Low Sexual Desire In Women

Although every women is different, and may have a different relationship with their sexuality, low sexual desire is a common issue, especially for perimenopausal women. What is uncommon is for people to do something about those problems before they irreparably damage their self-esteem and relationships. Women’s sexuality naturally changes with time. Physiological changes such as hormone imbalance and alterations to vaginal and erectile tissues due to aging and birthing may result in a low, or hypoactive sexual desire. These are issues to be addressed with a gynecologist or medical practitioner. But, low libido may also have psychological or emotional origins.

 Stress, anxiety, and fatigue are major factor in low sexual desire. Women’s responsibilities tend to increase with age. Caretaking of children, aging parents and family members, household and career issues take their toll. These pressures, including the pressure to perform sexually, adversely affect a woman’s sexual arousal and drive. Sexual desire is directly correlated with the sense of being desirable. Low self esteem or depression are contributing factors in reducing a woman’s sexual vitality. Women are taught that their value and attractiveness diminishes with age, or, that being sexual is wrong or negative. These may lead to mistaken beliefs about body or self image that wall-off the natural connection with sexuality. 

A history of abuse, trauma, or relationship hurts also have an enormous impact on women’s sexual arousal. Sexual withdrawal is a common response to emotional wounding, betrayal, or invalidation. Reestablishing intimacy and trust and learning to give voice to unmet needs are key to a healthy sex life.

Frequently Asked Questions About Sex Therapy

What exactly is Sex Therapy?

Sex therapy is a specialized form of psychotherapy that focuses on sexual function, feelings, and intimacy. Think of it as talk therapy that addresses the psychological, biological, and relational aspects of your sexual life. At GLOW, we create a safe, judgment-free space to discuss issues that are often kept in the dark. We do not perform physical exams; instead, we use conversation and homework assignments to help you overcome barriers to Well-being and achieve a healthier sexual connection.

Is Sex Therapy only for couples?

Not at all. While many couples attend therapy to resolve mismatched libidos or communication issues, individuals frequently seek help on their own. You might be dealing with performance anxiety, erectile dysfunction, pain during sex, or navigating your sexual identity. Individual work is a powerful way to focus on personal Growth, understanding your own body and desires, and removing internal blocks that stop you from enjoying a fulfilling sex life, whether you are currently in a relationship or not.

What kind of issues can Sex Therapy help with?

We address a wide range of concerns. Common issues for men include erectile dysfunction, premature ejaculation, and delayed ejaculation. For women, we often address low desire, difficulty reaching orgasm, or dyspareunia (painful intercourse). We also help with “sex addiction” or out-of-control sexual behaviors. Regardless of the symptom, our goal is Liberation from the stress and shame these issues cause, helping you move toward a solution that restores confidence and intimacy.

Will I have to do anything sexual in the office?

Absolutely not. There is never any sexual activity, nudity, or physical touching in the therapy office. Sex therapy is strictly “talk therapy.” We may assign “homework”—exercises for you to do in the privacy of your own home, either alone or with a partner. These exercises are designed to reduce anxiety, improve communication, and help you relearn touch and sensation. The office remains a professional, safe environment for processing your experiences and finding new Opportunities for connection.

My partner doesn't want to come. Can I come alone?

Yes. While it is often beneficial to have both partners present when the issue affects the relationship, one partner can still make significant progress alone. You can learn strategies to manage your own reactions, improve how you communicate your needs, and understand the dynamics at play. Taking the first step for yourself often changes the relationship dynamic and invites Growth for both parties, even if only one person is in the room.

Is Sex Therapy the same as marriage counseling?

They are distinct but often overlap. Marriage counseling focuses on the emotional and functional aspects of a partnership (communication, finances, parenting). Sex therapy focuses specifically on the physical intimacy and sexual health of the relationship. However, because sexual issues often stem from (or cause) emotional distance, we frequently weave elements of both into our sessions. We treat the “whole relationship,” ensuring that your emotional bond and sexual life support each other for total Well-being.

How do I know if I have a "Sex Addiction"?

If you feel your sexual behavior is out of control, causing negative consequences in your life (job loss, relationship damage, financial ruin), or if you use sex to numb out or escape difficult emotions, you may benefit from assessment. We look at compulsivity and the inability to stop despite wanting to. We offer a non-judgmental path to recovery, moving you from a cycle of shame and secrecy to a place of Liberation and healthy, conscious choices.

Sex after Prostate Cancer

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Prostate cancer is the most common cancer (representing about 25% of all new cancer diagnoses) in men in the USA. While radical prostatectomy, or surgical removal of the prostate, is the medical treatment of choice, the major urological complications of this procedure are incontinence and erectile dysfunction (ED), regardless of the surgical method used. After surgery, the risk of erectile dysfunction is as high as 90%, significantly impacting the quality of life and taking up to 3 years for the return of partial erections.

 Don’t wait for recovery from surgery to address sexual dysfunction. While various medical treatment options are available, including phosphodiesterase type 5 inhibitors (Viagra, etc.), penile injections or suppositories, vacuum devices, and penile prostheses, none address the psychological and emotional impact of sexual dysfunction on the patient and his relational life. There is also a ‘use it or lose it’ component to the erectile capacity of the penis. Therefore, waiting for recovery and subsequent sexual inactivity may actually hinder the ability to recover erectile capacity. Along with psychotherapy support for such post-surgery issues as performance anxiety, depression, and low-self esteem, sex therapy also provides relationship counseling and behavioral tools to enhance sexual expression and function.

Sex Mistakes

Common Sex Mistakes Men Make in the Bedroom:

  • Believing and acting as if sex is only about penetration.

  • Believing and acting as if sex is only about ejaculation.

  • Believing that sex can only happen if he has an erection.

  • Believing and acting as if sex is just about physical pleasure.

  • Believing and acting as if he has to be the initiator and expert about sex.

  • Believing that his partner has to have an orgasm for sex to be real.

  • Believing and acting as if he knows what makes his partner feel pleasure.

  • Believing that he always has to be ready for sex.

  • Believing and acting as if sex should be available on demand.

  • Believing that sex can solve emotional and intimacy issues in the relationship.

 Good lovemaking is not just about performance, penetration, and cumming. Good lovemaking is about communication, bonding, and intimacy. If any of these mistakes describe your or your partner’s beliefs about sex and sexuality please call GLOW Counseling for a review and rewriting of the sex “manual”.